5 Ways Your #Special Needs Child has Bolstered My Faith

When we find out we’re going to be a parent, planning immediately ensues.  Is it a boy or girl?  Will she like sports, or music, or both?  Who will she look like?  And we begin to dream about what we will buy her, the activities she will do, what her first day of kindergarten will look like.  Yes, we might have a concern here or there based on challenges others have had, but, more often than not, we will brush them aside and choose a Pollyanna-type optimism instead.  All parents find out in one defining moment or another, however, that our Utopian vision of parenting was just that, a vision, nothing more.

While all of us mourn the “perfect child” we had imagined, some parents’ idealistic hopes and dreams are lost in a different way. Instead of the “terrible twos” or speech issues, some find out at birth, or even in the womb, that their child has physical and/or developmental issues while others discover as their child develops that she has a disability that will impact the rest of her life.  Even others observe shocking signs of mental illness in their seemingly “normal” teen.  A variety of questions pop up in these scenarios.  “Will my child be able to learn and play normally?” “Will she be bullied” “Can she go to college?” “Will I have to care for her long-term?” “Will she be able to work, get married, have a family?’

After years of talking to parents of students on the phone, in person, in IEP and 504 meetings, it is safe to say that many parents are filled with fear and trepidation when they learn their child has special needs. As a veteran teacher who spent many years with these unique kids, I would like to thank parents of these wonderful people, thank them for sharing their children with me.  These kids, more than any others, have reminded me of the truths of the gospel in so many ways. 

1.  They have taught me the beauty of God’s creation.

Diversity makes the world go round.  Many of us, through no fault of our own, however, miss out on interacting with a diverse cross-section of people. One of my favorite aspects of teaching in a public school is diversity.  While I thoroughly enjoy getting to know students with different backgrounds and talents, I also love being in a place that celebrates ALL students, especially those with special needs.   Whether it is those whose smiling faces greet me as I walk into school, those who deliver needed items to my room or those I teach, the opportunity to appreciate those with autism, Down’s Syndrome, cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, mental health challenges, and many more have shown me God’s grand design made perfect in weakness.  Many of us have memorized Psalm 139:14 saying, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” The interactions I have had with these unique individuals have helped me not only appreciate them but value the role they play in my life and my community. They are truly “wonderfully made”.

2. They remind me that God is always with me.

When people outside of the school system tell me how difficult it must be to teach, I don’t know what to say.  Sure, there are days that are challenging, but as someone who struggles with depression, I have to say that working with those who are differently abled has shown me God’s promises in a different way.  Prayer is an integral part of my personal life as well at my professional life.  There are always situations I’m not sure how to handle or students I can’t help the way I want to.  As I pray for them, I am reminded of the promises God has made.  For me, life has been relatively easy.  For many of my students, life is a daily struggle.  Whether it be physical, mental, or social challenges, I am reminded and challenged to apply these to all of God’s children despite the circumstances.  Can I honestly say, “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified . . . for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” (2 Chronicles 32:7) and mean it?  Every time?  Even when the future is unsure or the obstacles seem too big?  Praying through these challenges-schizophrenia, severe anxiety or depression, a lifetime in a wheelchair-has bolstered my faith.  When God says, “ . . . and lo I am with you always”, it is for all of his children. After years of observing and interacting with them, I am more sure of it than ever.

3. They remind me to believe in miracles.

Just last Sunday, our sermon was about the healing of the lame man at the temple in Acts.  In this story, Peter tells him, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you.  In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk”.  The result?  He leaped up, “stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God” (Acts 3: 6-8).  Sadly, I was reminded how immune I am to the miracles of God at this time in my life.  Do I see miracles?  Yes. Of course. In my years of teaching, I have witnessed more than I can count. Just recently I interacted with a student I had a few years ago in class.  When he was younger, he was angry, checked out, reluctant, but not now. He is mature, responsible and performing well in his academics.  Another time I had to do a return at a local retail store.  Right before my eyes, one of my most challenging special education students was performing complex tasks I would never have dreamed he could do when he was 13.  If I stop to think about it, my mind is flooded with examples of students with so many obstacles not only persevering but succeeding. For many years, I prayed for my students, not knowing if God could do the miracle I was asking for.  Now, I know that he does miracles every day, even when I don’t ask.  If I didn’t know these important individuals, I would never had witnessed these miracles.

4. They have taught me perseverance.

Heroes come in many shapes and sizes.  They are first responders, teachers, parents, health care professionals, and Walmart employees-especially during a pandemic.  For me heroes are different.  Every day I get to interact with teens who have survived divorce, abuse, neglect, and a myriad of disabilities.  I cannot put into words the deep admiration I have for the way they have overcome so many obstacles.  While they battle depression or anxiety, struggle to read, wonder how to fit in, or require help to write or visit the bathroom, they keep striving to learn and grow towards the future they dream of.  When I encounter the verse, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds . . . “ (James 1:2), I can think of a handful of moments in which I’ve actually had to apply it.  These students?  They face trials of many kinds daily.  How do they face them?  With patience, hard work, and a smile.  Whenever I feel like I just can’t take one more step, the thought of their faithful perseverance in trials inspires me to move on.

5. They have taught me joy. 

If you asked me the most important lesson I’ve learned from teaching children with special needs, it is one word: joy.  Nothing comes easy for this population.  They are different, they struggle to fit in and keep up.  Whether they struggle to read, concentrate, maintain emotional control, get along socially, or accomplish simple tasks, life can seem like an uphill battle they will never win.  Their reaction?  They enjoy a simple song or movie, they smile, they laugh, they make jokes, they forgive those who’ve judged them, hurt them, excluded them and move on in joy.  Whenever I have a bad day, their contagious joy reminds me to “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Philippians 4:4) and “Count it all joy . . . when you meet trials of various kinds” (James 1:2). If they can do it, amidst all of their struggles, why can’t I?

Life in a fallen world is, well, harsh, to say the least.  The current climate of society in general is negative.  The media bombards us daily with a fire house of bad news.  For parents of kids with special needs, the daily struggle is more than many of us can understand.  So, thank you.  Thank you for all you do.  Not only is my classroom enhanced by their presence, but my life, even my faith in God, is enriched beyond explanation for knowing your child.  Thank you so much for sharing them with me.  They have taught me far more than I’ve taught them.