Celebrating #Father’sDay in a Fallen World

Father.  For me, this word evokes many emotions.  Excitement, love, adventure, that feeling that I can accomplish anything.  My late father-in-law brings other characteristics to mind.  Patience, quiet devotion, and faithfulness.  While in our family, the word “father’ or “dad” connotes fond memories, many have a different reaction.  After 22 years in public schools, I have seen it all.  Overbearing or cruel, distant or absent, incarcerated or addicted, even deceased, some who even took their own lives.  And then there are those, too many to count, who hardly knew their fathers or never met them at all.  All they have are a few faint memories or stories, often negative, told to them by a family member. Once I even had a mother tell me she “couldn’t tell him (my student) much about his father”.

It’s true. Despite the many wonderful fathers I’ve had the privilege to know, a discussion of fathers quickly reminds us that we live in a fallen world.  What’s funny?  We all still want fathers, even those who’ve had the worst of experiences.  If I could count the hours I’ve spent listening to kids talk about their fathers, especially those who didn’t have contact with them anymore because of abandonment, incarceration, severe addiction, etc. . . . Good, bad, or indifferent, fathers are important.  Period. 

While some people say we have a “God-shaped” hole in our lives, I also assert-and many would have to agree- that we have a “father-shaped” hole.  Ask any 5 year-old who doesn’t have one.  I can tell you, the desire for a father-child relationship is always there-there isn’t too much difference with 16 year-olds either. 

So, why mention all of this heartbreak, on Father’s Day weekend of all times?  Well, despite our fallen situation, there is good news.  The gospel loves to redeem hopeless circumstances, to turn deep chasms of fallenness upside down.  As Isaiah 61 describes it,

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

  to proclaim freedom for the captives

  and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

    instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

    instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

    instead of a spirit of despair.

Even the best of fathers show weakness and fail, but God is there to fill our “father-shaped” hole.  He is our ever faithful, always loving, never failing Dad, the one who binds our broken hearts, sets us free, comforts us, and trades the ashes of our broken lives for beauty. 

One of my favorite movies is titled Smoke Signals.  Based on a book by Sherman Alexie, this movie follows a character member of the Cord d’alene tribe named Victor who comes to terms with the death of his alcoholic, abusive father, who abandoned him around the age of 10.  In the end of the movie, the director included a poem called “How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?”?  While this poem is not faith-based, it insightfully expresses the many conflicting feelings people have about their fathers.  While it mentions the true heart break some have felt at the hand of their fathers such as, “unexpected rage” or “divorcing . . . our mothers”, it also eloquently relates how all of us are so easily disappointed, sometimes at no fault of our father at all.  From displaying “unexpected rage” to no rage at all, marrying or not marrying, divorcing or not divorcing, even exhibiting warmth or coldness.  Essentially, no father can match our idealistic dad:  the one who plays ball, fixes things, is always kind, and never abandons us even in the smallest way.  Now, I grew up with a great dad as many of you did, yet, let’s face it, the idea of fathers is often more like a fairy tale than real life. 

Maybe this is God’s plan.  We need him as our ideal father, all of us children with varied “father” backgrounds.  This father-shaped hole is there to call us to him, the one father who is always consistent and never disappoints. 

Consider the following verses about God as our perfect father:

For you are our Father, though Abraham does not know us, and Israel does not acknowledge us; you, O Lord, are our Father, our Redeemer from of old is your name (Isaiah 63:16).

And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty (2 Corinthians 6:18).

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3).

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change (James 1:17).

See what kind of love the father has given to us that we should be called the children of God . . . . (1 John 3:1).

. . . for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12).

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption of sons, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father” (Romans 8: 15)

Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and ye your heavenly father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they? (Matthew 6:26).

In my Father’s house there are many rooms.  If it were not so, would I have to you that I go to prepare a place for you? (John 14:2)

Enough said. As we meditate on these verses this Father’s Day, may we give thanks for the fathers and father figures God has given us and forgive any action or inaction that strayed from our expectations, knowing that our heavenly father chose us, loves us, and provides for us without fail.  That father-shaped hole?  We can trust “ . . . him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20) to fill it perfectly..